being thirty-something

Being thirty seemed like a distant mountain just a few days back. Now I'm atop. As someone once said, "there is still no cure for the common birthday"! After the hangover of gifts and goodies, as I sit alone and rub my eyes to think of those 30 years spent on this planet, I suddenly find it quite alarming. The last age that I remember being was probably 21. What happened to all those 9 years after that? I was surely not hibernating. Maybe it was the down pour of too many key events that happened during then, which makes me feel so.

Current world average lifespan of humans is considered to be 70. So I am nearing middle age. And what did I do to the world? I say, I was busy learning things. I am still learning things. Well, if your whole life is a learning process, when's the time to practice what you learnt?

Van Gogh died aged 37. Kafka died at 41. Michael Jackson's best years were 27-30. Now, does that mean that the most productive years of my life are over? The musicians and writers and film makers that contributed best to my generation are all dying off these days. Is the world graying beside me?

Not really! When I looked on further, I could see that there's hope. Le Corbusier and Richard Neutra died at 78. Villa Savoye was done when Corbusier was 42. Zaha Hadid established her practice when she was 30, and still it took her some decades to get her designs executed. Tadao Ando's professional life also flourished after his thirties. Barragan built his beautiful house at 46. And most interestingly, Geoffrey Bawa turned to architecture only at the age of 38. Phew! Who's in a hurry?

But there are other issues. The health insurance is expensive after you turn 30. Now does that imply that one should be expecting health issues after 30? They scare me saying the female reproductive system goes on a toss after 35. Ehem! I must quickly do something about it!

That apart, as I sit here with silver strands in my hair (that I still see as the effect of early wisdom), and getting used to the newer generation calling me "aunt!", I still have a lot of youth in my mind. I will always have it, as far as I share my life with this man, who'd always be one year older than I am!

"These are the soul's changes. I don't believe in aging. I believe in forever altering one's aspect to the sun. Hence my optimism.” Virginia Woolf

what i wanted to say to Kamala

My dear, dear Kamala,

Some day I should have told you this; but you are gone now.

It happens, with close ones in family or legends in the society; we forget to let them know of their importance in our lives. I don't know in which category should I include you in: you are older than my mother, but strangely, I find you as a friend. Someone who thinks very much like me.

Every year in the rat race that I am in, I stop and read your books. You are the only writer who could make me read again and again. I don't think it has much to do with your language or intelligence or extra ordinary story threads or like many make fun of, the sexual remarks in your stories. I even hate to discuss about it. It is your frankness that takes me on a ride with you. The frank narration that makes the reader feel, "it could have been my story!" or "I have known this feeling!" Your writing always made me humbler, munch on memories and feel more beautiful, for reasons only you know! I am extremely grateful for the strength that you add to my existence, making me feel that you know me.

You are the true woman, the bold woman, the woman of greatest substance. You successfully expressed the complex feminine emotions; never mind how the simple men take it.